Like this:

During our “Maui Passage” with the Peaceful Women as we were coming back up from the “pools” where we had swum (now that is a weird word) and lunched, I was following one of our own who was moving very slowly. She was carrying two heavy bags.  I will explain in a minute how I discovered how heavy they were.  And she was limping slightly.  The limp was due to her being injured a couple of days previously.  But trooper that she was, she was not letting her injury prevent her from participating in any of our many excursions.

Look. Up in the sky! It's a. . .I haven't a clue.

We arrived at a very steep and long staircase built into the cliff. I knew that for someone who had hurt her leg this was going to be a very arduous climb, made even more so because she was carrying those two bags. So I offered to help by carrying those bags for her.  I need to backtrack a minute.  Before I could make this offer, I had to do one little thing.  I had to ask the person behind me to carry what I had been carrying so that I would be free to help my overburdened collegue. The person behind me readily agreed. And thank you whoever you were, because without you there would be no “rest of the story.”

So unburdened I made my offer, which was promptly refused with a sort of “I can do it myself.  I don’t need any help” attitude.  I recognized the attitude because it is one with which I am intimately familiar, since it is usually my attitude when someone offers me help of any kind.  But at that moment in time, my determination to help was greater than her desire to refuse. And so she acquiesced and handed over her bags—both of them.  Yes, that is how I discovered how heavy they were.

My friend, now unburdened almost floated up the rest of the steps and back to the car.  She was obviously enjoying her new-found lightness.  And because she felt so light, she could move much more quickly (Her words I believe were “Wow, I can walk at a normal pace now.”)  This allowed everyone else to also get back to the vans more quickly.

This whole incident got me thinking.  How many times has my “I will do it myself.  I don’t need your help” attitude slowed down or even prevented something from happening? Something important?  Something necessary?  I don’t know.  But I do know it has happened many more times than once.  And I noticed something else.  Before I was able to assist someone else I had to ask for assistance.  Wow.  And here I thought that by not asking for help I was helping others.  Eye-opening.

What if we all took that on?  That if we truly want to help each other—those whom we know and those not yet met—we must begin by asking for help ourselves.  Help to do that which we cannot do.  That is relatively easy.  Help to dig ourselves out from the overwhelm of our own lives.  A bit harder.  And help to do that which we believe only we are capable of doing.  Now there is a challenge.  Are we up to it? I don’t know.

What I do know is that I am going to be open to the possibility that there are many in my life who would, could and can help me—thus freeing me to do the same—and allowing the flow of my life and theirs to continue unblocked and free.

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